This Felt Appropriate …



found on Pinterest πŸ™‚

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A Poignant Loss, Something to be Happy About & Christmas Greetings

Howdy beautiful people! 😘 Did anyone out there miss me? πŸ˜‚

Our master bedroom is a huge mess right now. I am surrounded by scattered mountains of stuff that need to be packed into already burgeoning suitcases when ..

my eyes caught on my laptopΒ  πŸ‘€

And I just had to power it on because ~


I felt I needed to greet you a Merry Christmas & I of course sincerely wish you all the joy and warmth and happiness and blessings that the special season brings. Whoever you are, wherever you are, may the force be with you and yours always! πŸ’ πŸ’ πŸ’

A few updates …


Some of you might remember that my last post was about a surprise pregnancy. Well, sad to say it but, “B2” did not make it. The second time we went to the doctor for a routine check-up (B2 was a day short of 13 weeks), we found out B2 had no heartbeat. It was a very, very painful moment for the 3 of us.

I had a missed miscarriage, the kind that has no symptoms. Your body just goes on feeling pregnant but the baby is already gone. I don’t know how that works but in hindsight I’m grateful I didn’t do the bleeding and painful cramping that signals most miscarriages because I’d have traumatized my daughter for sure.

We are all okay now. I’ve managed to make B1 understand that these things happen, that miscarriages are nature’s selection process (I said this in a much nicer way of course) and that she should consider herself (and her friends) miracles for being born, and being born beautiful.


I am just grateful for my friends who shared the pain of our loss. On any given day I’d receive an unexpected gift dropped off via my daughter’s school (our children go to the same school). They all respected my need to grieve and hence gave me the space that I needed, but through text messages they let me know that they were there.

I am also very grateful for my daughter’s classmates/playmates who were apparently excited for the baby too. They were there for my daughter and, for me as well because, when I finally showed myself in public, they too expressed their concern. It was very sweet in a funny way πŸ˜‡ I’d see their little faces light up in relief when they saw that I was no longer sad and was open to talking about it. They’d inch closer and ask me to explain how and why it happened. (Don’t worry, I chose my words very carefully + their parents already knew πŸ˜‡).

Thank God for the blessing of friends – big and small, in person and online (that means YOU) πŸ€— πŸ’– πŸ€—


Some of you might also remember that I was praying about something.

Well ….

That prayer has been answered!!!πŸ’ƒπŸ» πŸ’ƒπŸ» πŸ’ƒπŸ»

We’re moving to Melbourne!

Yaaaaayy! πŸ€ΈπŸ»β€ πŸ€ΈπŸ»β€ πŸ€ΈπŸ»β€

Wish us luck and, I’ll see you all on the other side, mates! πŸ˜‰ (Sorry, couldn’t help it 😁).

Be good while I temporarily sign off, okay?


~ Paardje

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I Thought I Couldn’t Have Another Baby Again?!! πŸ™ƒ

Hello beautiful people! πŸ™‚ ❀

It’s been a while.

I’m pregnant you know. Yes, 9 weeks already (approximately).

Dan-dan-daaaaaaaan!!! πŸ€— πŸ€—

I had NO idea. At all!

First off, my fallopian tubes are blocked. When I had my daughter (B1 πŸ’—) my doctor already told me there was a dermoid cyst blocking my right. A few years ago I had myself checked [because we wanted another child and nothing was happening] and I was told then that both my tubes were blocked.

At the time I was already in my late 30’s, so I was really sad as you can imagine. I was advised to undergo an operation or an IVF if we really wanted another child but, since my husband was then already working abroad and I believed my age was against me, I let the idea go.

Symptoms and excuses.

I first thought I had hit an all-time low when, seemingly overnight, I just didn’t feel like doing anything. I didn’t want to exercise. I didn’t want to knit, or crochet. I didn’t want to read. I didn’t want to blog. Everything was just painfully un-interesting. I feared the worst. A friend told me to just embrace the blues and give my brain a rest from fighting boredom.

Then came the “hangries” as I call it. Voracious hunger accompanied by a burning pain in my stomach that would not cease unless I ate a complete -and large- meal. I started to think I was developing an ulcer (or some type of digestion problem) from my attempts at intermittent fasting.

Then I felt very tired, as though I was recovering from some sickness and I just didn’t have any energy reserve left. I chalked it up to having stopped exercising and resolved to start again “tomorrow”.

Then everything, including drinking water, started to taste icky. And I felt my food was threatening to come back up my throat after every meal. This is when I told my husband something weird was going on.

“Would you like me to buy a pregnancy test on my way home from work tonight?” my husband asks one morning. (This was around my 7th week of pregnancy).

I say, “okay, but just to eliminate that possibility, I know it’s an ulcer”.

Boy, was I in for a surprise!


Answered prayers.

I was incredulous! I sought a second test and when that too came out positive I wanted to ‘see’ the position of the embryo because I didn’t think it was possible. But my very happy husband said he had been praying so, it was possible πŸ˜ƒ

I do not even know when my last period was πŸ˜… Can you blame me for not taking note? All this time we’ve been without care and protection and nothing happened … till now! 😁

I need to conclude this post now because it’s very long.

So here I am using “B2” as an excuse to not cook (among other things) πŸ˜† πŸ˜† because the mere act of slicing an onion has the power to render me useless with a headache for hours.

But, ever since I went to the doctor and was given pregnancy vitamins and have been drinking ‘mommy formula’ my level of energy has been improving. I also hope to be able to have the “hangries” under control because really, at this rate I’m going to be a beluga whale by my second trimester 😨

So this is all for today.

I have another wonderful news but I’ll keep that for some other time because now I need to eat πŸ™„ πŸ˜†

I hope you are all well and experiencing your own miracles in your lives.

Till next post.

Be blessed! πŸ’– πŸ’‹

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The Photographers Probably Knew It All Along


found on


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Adam Made It! πŸ€—

It is now official, after the husband did a thorough fitting last night and did some muscle flexing in front of a mirror wearing Adam πŸ˜„ – I haz knit my second sweater! πŸ’ͺπŸ’ͺ

I haz conquered knitting (and seaming!) dark grey yarn, haz conquered working with snakelike implements of torment a.k.a. circular needles, conquered despair and the temptation to just give up and knit an entirely new and different pattern, and learned that maybe it’s wise to knit a size or 2 bigger than what the tape measure tells you to πŸ˜†πŸ˜‰


To my arsenal of knitting knowledge I also now add familiarity with working a raglan sleeved sweater and, a little exposure to cabling (I think), because the raglan sleeve called for a little style twist:

Phew! πŸ™ƒ

To tell you honestly though, I am convinced that my execution of the raglan sleeve cabling (?) was much better the second time around. The gaps of the pattern were smaller, tighter and uniform as opposed to the first try so … I guess you could say it was a blessing in disguise πŸ˜€

Anyways, now it’s time for a quick & fancy victory dance – all together now!

Wasn’t that absolutely empowering and motivational? πŸ˜„πŸ˜„

Next on the knitting horizon: a sweater for my daughter that involves a simple motif. Stay tuned! 😘

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Odd-Photo Prompt #2: Self-Help

Sometimes, a group of words can come at such the right moment that I just have to take a screenshot of it for repeat reading throughout the day.

I don’t have a lot of these but since the words aren’t as powerful to me anymore, this is another one for deletion from my iPhone’s treasury of odd photos (and screenshots).

But before that, maybe some of you might like it too so here it is:


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It’s Never Too Early πŸŒž

790d6893d4c2da333e28ba913c65e0a3.jpgHello all! Happy Monday! 🌞🌞

What one good thing will you do/start today?

For me the answer is: delving into a topic of interest!

One of the perks of being a SAHM is the wonderful opportunity to indulge in the pursuit of knowledge πŸ’– And if you have internet connection, you have absolutely NO excuse to remain intellectually stagnant! πŸ™ƒ

One of my areas of interest is ageing well and, although I’m still a long way off from being physically old, I believe it’s never too early to start establishing some solid habits that will help one age sexily πŸ˜‰

So the other week I received information about a free online course on Strategies For Successful Ageing.Β  It is a 5-week course given by the Trinity College Dublin and is but one of the many free online courses facilitated by Futurelearn.

Here’s an overview of the 5-week course:

  • Week 1: Being Older In this first week, we look at how perceptions of ageing can influence ageing, and explore our own understanding of what β€˜old’ is.
  • Week 2: Being Well In the second week, we investigate strategies for improving mental health, including depression, anxiety and brain ageing. We also discuss what β€˜quality of life’ means, and delve into other key areas for successful ageing including intimacy, how to talk to your doctor, and family solidarity.
  • Week 3: Being Healthy In the third week of our course, we will give strategies for better nutrition, increasing physical fitness through exercise, and improving your brain health.
  • Week 4: Being Engaged The fourth week of the course looks at another important area for successful ageing: social engagement and participation. You will have a chance to perform a life audit and learn strategies for how to plan for the future.
  • Week 5: Being Creative In the final week of the course, we will explore creative ageing, what this means, and why it is important. We will showcase individual creativity and provide you with tips to explore your own creativity.

Fascinating isn’t it? πŸ˜€ And you can be sure I immediately signed up!

I just finished week one (which is mostly introductory) and am excited to move into week 2. The course is self-paced so you can breeze through it as fast as you want or take all the time you need, the 5 week time frame is just a recommendation.

Aside from expanding my horizons, I’m definitely looking forward to learning a few practical tips on ageing well after taking this course.

I’ll keep you posted and, you keep me accountable, ok? πŸ˜‰

Posted in Fitness Matters, The Introverted Expat SAHM Diaries | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments