Last Friday I missed writing a Feel Good Friday post because I was with friends, celebrating a birthday. It was funny because there was some logistical difficulties that cost us half the day. When we finally found a place we could all take our lunch at, it was nearing 2PM. Everybody was hungry, tired and irritated, but the food gave us all back our will to live XD XD
It felt good to see my ladies again, I missed them and their fun company. Apparently, they missed me too as they kept asking when I’d go back to Zumba class.
When indeed will I go back to Zumba class?
I’m a home exerciser. But in October I enrolled for Zumba classes for socialization. It was a chance to get out of the house and to learn Indonesian. It was certainly fun at first, dancing is always fun, and all the Indonesian words I learned were exercise related like “lagi!” (again), “terus!” (straight), “dorong!” (push), “lihat saya!” (look at me) XD
Fun of a disagreeable kind …
But you see, my new wonderful friends were also beset with what for me was a malady (of sorts). They liked to be anywhere but at home.
Almost every day there was some special eatery to go to, an errand that everyone had to go along on, somebody’s friend’s friend’s wedding, a big sale at a certain mall ….
It was fun at first, but after a while it began to feel superficial and a waste of time.
It’s what I felt at first although my ladies never made me feel as though declining was a bad thing. But always having to say no also felt uncomfortable to me, like if I said too many no’s a divide would grow and the friendships would sour.
But going on another “jalan” (lit: road, my friends use it to mean “to go out”) was just not interesting for me anymore.
I was definitely not in a happy space 😐
So I stopped going to Zumba class.
It was just the easier thing to do to get back my peace of mind.
I still love them …
Friendships are blessings, every single one of them and I am grateful to have made friends with these wonderful ladies. It’s just that my version of fun is different and continuing to pretend or vacillate was taking a toll on my authenticity. (Now that’s profound!)
I felt like a huge burden was lifted once I had my space back. I’m a much happier person listening to music at home than out on another daily “jalan”.
And last Friday, I was happy to note that although I chose to make myself happy, it did not mean that the friendships ended there too.
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