Experiencing A Li’l Meltdown

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Dearest friends, have a seat, help yourself to some chips and wine and lend me your ear. I need to talk.

So as you probably know I just came back from a wonderful (say that aloud 3 times while doing a body roll!) week in Melbourne, and I had SO many things in mind to tell you. I was SO excited. I worried about the length of my post, and then how many posts I would make because one would surely not be enough.

But I was not prepared for what met me when I boarded a ferry – the final leg of our homeward journey – to Indonesia.

Boredom. It hit me hard, right smack in the face and chest. It made me feel angry, irritable, annoyed and in despair.  This demon is one I knew was already lurking in the shadows, just waiting for its chance to pounce on me. It finally did.

Yesterday was Mothers’ Day, but I found no relief nor solace in it. I had a fight with my significant other and even attempted to pick a fight with my daughter (I know, right?).  Thankfully, by the time the lights were turned off for sleep something made me Google “why are housewives bored”, and “how to avoid boredom as a SAHM”, and I read and read and am still reading and somehow all the information I gleaned has calmed me down significantly.

Okay. Exhale. I am not going crazy, and I certainly am not the only one to feel this way.

(What’s that? Oh of course you can have more wine and chips. Now pay attention).

When I say “bored”, it is not for the lack of things to do. It is rather how my life as a housewife has imitated that of a laundry cycle – wash, rinse, dry. Repeat.

Plus, and this is a big, fat, imposing “PLUS” – my social life is practically non-existent. I am boxed inside the house. Circumstances as well as personal preferences make it difficult, if not impossible, for me to cultivate a life outside the house.

My current world is very small.

And this is not healthy. Not healthy at all!

And it’s also very difficult to not have anyone to talk to. If you don’t want to sink any deeper you have to self-medicate. Which is what I’m doing via Google.  (And I am most definitely not talking about cyber flirting or affairs! It’s amazing what I found about this online supposedly as a panacea for bored housewives).

(Yes, of course you can take your shoes off & prop your feet up. Stop distracting me!).

The good thing about hitting rock bottom though is that it makes you face your demon. I mean really face it and see it and figure out how to either kick it hard in the gut or learn mad make-up skills to make it look better.

I don’t know if I can kick this demon hard enough to make it go away. But I also still have my wits about me enough to realize that I am in fact pretty lucky to not have to work.  And that I am not paralyzed by feelings of uselessness nor helpless.  And that I know where to find the sexy genie who can make it go away – she’s not in the bottle, she’s in the mirror.

How I wish it [ennui] would never come back indeed. But I know all of us, regardless of individual situations, yes even those who have demanding 9-5 jobs, must face the scourge of boredom from time to time.

(Pictures of Melbourne you say? Will you please focus?!)

Okay so I have already amassed a handful of ideas from all my reading about bored stay-at-home-wives/moms and, some have spoken to me. I’m making a list, checking it twice and planning my next moves. And do you have some ideas maybe, some tips? More wine or chips?

Okay then, we’ll talk about this some more soon. I just wanted to check in with you because I missed you too. And I already feel better just by putting this out there.

And I love you for listening ❤ ❤ ❤

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93 Responses to Experiencing A Li’l Meltdown

  1. Nazmin says:

    I totally agree – I probably don’t feel ‘bored’ in the same way as you, because I am not a SAHM (or a mom to be precise!) but for the last couple of days, I also feel like my world is so small! I get the whole laundry cycle thing – I feel boxed inside the office. Every day is the same routine – wake up, go work, get home ever so late (oh thank you late buses) eat dinner, and sleep. I guess I do get the social thing during the weekend though, however most of that time is spent on avoiding doing other things such as ironing WORK clothes. It really does make me contemplate on the whole ‘are you working to live, or living to work’ *rant over*

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Scarlett79 says:

    It’s like I use to tell my kids, “Being bored is good !!!” Trust me it is. I wrote a really long post a minute ago about this, but I deleted it. Story was a very sad one. I too am a SAHM and just go with the boredom. That is easy to fix or just be bored ❤ Blessings to you in your boredom 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    • Paardje says:

      LOL! XD Thanks, Scarlett. I wish you’d write the post again though. Let me know if you do, I’m sure it will be helpful to me and many others 🙂 Blessings to you too!

      Like

      • Scarlett79 says:

        I will but I’ll warn you, it’s really sad but I learned much !!! I will tomorrow 💗. Blessing

        Liked by 1 person

      • Paardje says:

        Oh well, I can bawl as long and hard and as dramatic as I want to! One of the perks of staying at home 😉 LOL! Thanks, Scarlett ❤

        Like

      • Scarlett79 says:

        Okay I’ll give you the short version here and then I will give the link to my 3 post’s that I wrote the whole story last year too finally. It was Sunday night and I was getting bummed b/c weekend was over with, back to work for the husband and then just me in our little two bedroom townhouse with our then 15 month old son. I was 7 months pg with our second baby. Didn’t know what we were having because you were just surprised back in the day. I started to feel something like a contraction and then I felt some liquid com e out. I called the doctor and she told me to go to the hospital and get checked out. Not to worry, but she wanted to make sure. I wasn’t really that concerned but out we went to the hospital. Once I got there, they put me in a gown and had a resident come into check me. He did and he said he thought everything was fine, I could dress and go home. As I was getting dressed, some more liquid came out and this time it was on the floor. A little puddle of what looked like water. The nurse came in and I showed her and she told me wait here a minute. She left and came back with some sort of test strip. She put it in the water and it turned some kind of color. She told me to get back into bed. She was going to go get the doctor. He came back in and checked me again. As he was checking me, my water broke. There was no mistaking it now, there was no going home. I was in full on labor and they had to get it stopped b/c it was too soon to have baby. All I remember thinking of I will never hate being at home, bored on a Sunday night again. What I would’ve given to be at home having a normal boring week. We lost our son that week, Sean Patrick. Since that happened, never minded boredom. Here’s the link to Sean Patrick’s story. It’s really more involved that just that memory. You have to remember always to just embrace life as you have it. Yes that includes, embracing boredom !!! Trust me, I know ❤ Blessings

        Liked by 2 people

      • Paardje says:

        Aww, I am so sorry to hear this Scarlett. I am teary eyed and moved that you are sharing this with me. Hugs and blessings ❤ ❤

        Liked by 1 person

      • Scarlett79 says:

        Thank you so much…It was really hard to write. I’m glad I did and I’m glad you read it ❤ Blessings

        Liked by 1 person

      • Paardje says:

        The honor is all mine ❤ 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      • Scarlett79 says:

        I just read the post again and I’m glad I have an angel watching over me and his family ❤

        Liked by 1 person

      • Paardje says:

        It’s a blessing of a story Scarlett. Thanks so much for sharing ❤

        Liked by 1 person

      • Scarlett79 says:

        Can you take down that first link, IDK how too and I really don’t want that link up…Thanks ❤

        Like

      • Paardje says:

        Yes ma’m 😉 ❤

        Liked by 1 person

      • Scarlett79 says:

        Thank You 😉

        Liked by 1 person

  3. I know how you feel. I’ve been there with the boredom but I don’t think it’s really just a SAHM thing. I think it’s just part of the human condition. No matter what work someone does, there are always the “wash, rinse, repeat” aspects to it. I would say that most jobs are like this. The same weekly reports need written, analyzed, printed and filed. The customer service duties get repeated ad nauseum. The same types of calls get answered over and over. The same client meetings take place (different clients but same subject over and over).

    My husband ir the design. He’s expressed boredom with his job as well. Heck, I’ve even read of people with exciting, fast-paced jet-setting jobs getting bored with THAT lifestyle.
    s in electrical design. He designs the blueprints for new buildings and remodeling projects. The buildings are always different but it’s the same codes and rules that have to be followed no matte
    When boredom sets in most of the time there’s a feeling of being stuck because we have responsibilities to our loved ones that keep us in that cycle. Our love for them keeps us from running off to find greener pastures but what can we do for ourselves? Look for the little, simple pleasures that you enjoy and incorporate more of them into each day or even just once a week. Good coffee, dark chocolate, a new book, a half hour afternoon tea time ritual, a favorite movie you haven’t seen in awhile, a nature walk, prowling about a favorite shop or two, a date night, starting a kitchen herb garden, adding some simple fresh flower arrangements to your bedside table, your kitchen window or the table beside your favorite chair etc. Find those little things that bring you joy and contentment. Oftentimes, people think they have to do something big, new and exciting to kill the boredom and if you have the opportunity, go for it. Most of the times though we’ve forgotten our simple pleasures or have neglected them too long. I find that these are what get me out of that stuck feeling that comes on at times.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Oh, my paragraphs seemed to have gotten really mixed up. The one that starts with the word Heck, should be at the end of the first paragraph and then the second paragraph about my husband should read

      “My husband is in electrical design. He designs the blueprints for new buildings and remodeling projects. The buildings are always different but it’s the same codes and rules that have to be followed no matter the design. He’s expressed boredom with his job as well. ”

      Perhaps you could edit it for me and trash this one. Or leave them as they are.

      Darn computers!

      Liked by 1 person

    • Paardje says:

      There are so many nuggets of wisdom in this one comment of yours Elizabeth (?) that I am reading it over and over again 🙂

      “When boredom sets in most of the time there’s a feeling of being stuck because we have responsibilities to our loved ones that keep us in that cycle. Our love for them keeps us from running off to find greener pastures but what can we do for ourselves?” –> SO TRUE!

      Thank you so much for reaching out to me ❤ 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Yes! The Universe is trying to tell you something! I usually feel a shaky feeling like something is missing (probably like your boredom). When I was younger I would change everything, quit my job, move, go back to school, etc. Now that I have my peeps who rely on me, I don’t make such huge life changes on a whim. But doing something different to shake things up and refocus yourself isn’t a bad thing. It beats getting stuck in a rut! Props to you for recognizing your feelings, and glad to have you back in the blogosphere!

    Liked by 2 people

  5. nicolaknits says:

    I think that many women, especially in their 40s and 50s (I don’t know how old you are) and after years being a SAHM, get that feeling of “isn’t there something more to life.” Routine is good, but it can get, yes, boring. And it can stifle creativity. Mid-life crisis may be something we laugh about when a man has an affair and buys a red convertible, but I think it’s natural to want to look at your life and review whether it’s making you happy or miserable. You seem to be feeling disconnected and trapped and whatever you need to do to help yourself will help your family, because the alternative is an epic flounce! Best wishes.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Paardje says:

      So true, if I’m not happy the whole family is miserable especially since there are only 3 of us! XD

      Thank you so much for your thoughts and well wishes Nicola ❤ 😀

      Liked by 1 person

  6. puppy1952 says:

    I have been both a SAHM and a working wife and mother and really I preferred the latter. I understand the boredom thing and the lack of appreciation for what you do. Now I am retired at an age too young, I think, but it’s the best thing ever. I miss my job but I also love my life. You have to find a compromise – find something outside of home to do – a hobby that is absorbing. When I worked I longed to knit and sew – believe it or not – now I have time for those things but there is only so much you can do – when I was a SAHM there were enough family members to keep me in handwork for a lifetime! Then it saved money but now I think it’s cheaper to buy ready made. I’m not sure what the solution is but I think you’re doing the right thing staying at home.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Paardje says:

      Yes I do appreciate the luxury of being able to stay at home and I am grateful for (and still thrilled about) the hobbies and interests that it has allowed me to pursue. When I was working I would indeed fantasize about just staying at home and working on myself (pursuing passions) instead of being stressed out making others rich (the corporation) 😀

      And you are right, something outside of the home sounds very appealing to me right now.

      Thank you. I sincerely appreciate your comment ❤ 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  7. A Nenes Life says:

    Most of the times I have enough projects to keep myself busy so I don’t think of what is boring me. I feel the need to change things a bit, just mix up my routine. The past week was very busy for me and all my routines where interrupted and I’m having a hard time getting back into the swing of things. Sometimes I think, “Is this really it?” This is what I do day after day. I do love my life just the occasionally boredom slips in.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Paardje says:

      “Is this really it?” is a question that is near to what my meltdown is all about. Although right now I am sensing it is more about going outside the confines of my house than anything else.

      I am still exploring this and every comment is helping me understand it better. So, thank you! ❤ 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  8. I can surely relate to this 🙂 Around an year back my hubby and I moved to the US, and initially while I was so excited that I can take a break from my corporate workaholic schedules back in India(my visa status does not allow me to work in the US), nowadays I must say boredom is slowly creeping its way into my life :\ I try to face it rather than convince myself I am not bored and a few things I do is read books, binge watching series, (have you seen/read Game of Thrones?) , planning/dreaming about our next trip (always a lifesaver, even when the trip is months away 😛 ) and not to forget the lovely world of blogging. Maybe I will write a post on it 😛 And it would be great if you could share tips as well for the Stay at Home Wives/Moms 🙂
    Trust me sometimes, boxed up inside home is better than having kitty parties and then later getting to know people are bitching behind one’s back! I have been to a few and decided thats the end of it! It is so difficult in this world to find a group of friends who are not fake. Cling onto those who are already there in our life and we are so lucky if we find new ones!

    P.S.- I love your style of writing 🙂 Its almost like reading a story 😀 And looking so forward to reading your Melbourne trip adventures 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Paardje says:

      Hello there, my lovely new friend 🙂 I missed you too!

      What you said in your comment is (unfortunately) true and I have been burned this way in the past too. Sadly.

      And thank you so much for the kind words on my style of writing ❤ 🙂 I do worry about this sometimes.

      I appreciate the tips too! Muah! 🙂 ❤

      Liked by 1 person

      • Do not worry at all 😀 It is what made me follow your blog in a jiffy and what I LOVE in your blog (and your followers too apparently, the number seems to be pretty huge 😉 )
        You are welcome anytime ❤ I am a little curious to know about tips from you too to avoid boredom while not working. If you are doing it as a post I can wait 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      • Paardje says:

        Oh I’m going to blog about it for sure … my blog is my mouthpiece! XD

        Oh and let me know when you do your post as I’m sure it will help me for one, among many others.

        Thanks a lot for the encouragement, M ❤ ❤

        Liked by 1 person

      • Hehe. I have a series of ideas I plan to post but I have yet to write it all. It’s all perfectly crafted in my head though 😁
        I will surely let you know when I post about this one.But not in the nearby months I guess. I am still a little inexperienced in this category and am not sure my advise of “dreaming about a travel 2 months ahead” will be well-received by my readers 😁

        Liked by 1 person

  9. Barbara says:

    I’m so sorry to hear that visiting this wonderful city has left you feeling less than happy. I’m no psychologist but I think what you are feeling is pretty normal. Every day life can be mundane, particularly after a trip away. You have such a zest for life about you, and I know you will gradually pick your way back into enjoying the little things. It’s no secret that those are the moments that bring joy. Sending happy feelings your way from a wet and windy Melbourne.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Paardje says:

      Thank you SO much Barbara. Your kind words and encouragement are sincerely appreciated 🙂 ❤

      Melbourne is amazing! The people (which is what most impressed me) seem to be jovial and friendly and whenever we had to deal with an employee (say, a bank teller or a barista) they were always so attentive and helpful. Even the drunk blokes from Federation Square who were waiting with us for a late night tram toned down their rowdiness when they saw my daughter! LOL! And I knew because the noisiest one said out loud "sorry, didn't know there were young ones here" after he said something colorful. I was impressed! XD XD

      Like

  10. naelany says:

    I totally get it, believe me. My social life is practically non-existent either, if you’re talking about going out and meeting people. That’s partly due to health, part circumstance, part personal preference. I do have times where I feel caged and feel the need to go out and do. And when possible, I do it. It might mean simply going out for a walk, or hanging out with family, or whatever.
    My main ways of staying sane is writing, reading, and crafting. My social network is online. It isn’t as dependent on how I’m doing on a day-to-day basis, so I’m perfectly okay with that.

    I am, however, curious to hear what you’ve discovered and look forward to reading your posts. And to seeing pictures of your trip to Melbourne 😉

    Oh, and thank you for the fries. They’re lovely. And of course I’ll have another glass of wine, how nice of you to offer 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    • Paardje says:

      LOL! 😀 Truth be told, if it wasn’t for this blog and blog-friends like you who take time to read and comment I’d already be catatonic. I had many many years ago decided Facebook wasn’t for me so that’s not an option either. The language barrier, the heat, the city’s lay-out and the limited options makes an otherwise simple outing more difficult than I usually have the energy and enthusiasm for. But I do try! XD
      Thanks SO much for the encouragement and support ❤ ❤

      Liked by 1 person

      • naelany says:

        I feel ya. Is taking a class an option? Back when I moved to Denmark I ended up getting a tutor who was also a pottery guy. Became not quite friends, but definitely friendly with him and my grasp on the language improved by leaps and bounds. Immersion was key for me.
        You’re on your own for the heat issue, though 😉 I can’t handle heat anymore. At all.
        I am on Facebook every day. I don’t really have trouble with it, but then I don’t read every single thing that comes across my feed either. Some folks, every post gets read, sure. But I am in several groups (one of which for my writing), and the contact there is great

        Liked by 1 person

      • Paardje says:

        I’m indeed thinking of hiring someone to help me with the language. There are no language schools for learning Indonesian where I am (although I found a couple for English and Mandarin). This is on my list and, we’ll see 🙂 The heat is well … hot! LOL! One of the things I liked about being in Melbourne was we could walk all about town without sweating bullets 🙂

        Like

      • naelany says:

        Good luck 🙂

        Lol yeah, not sweating bullets is a biggie for me 😉

        Liked by 1 person

      • naelany says:

        And you’re quite welcome. Introverts unite 😉

        Liked by 1 person

      • Paardje says:

        To infinity, and beyond!! 😀 💫 💫

        Liked by 1 person

  11. opat says:

    First, I love the fries! I almost asked you where you bought it coz I wanted to try but realized that maybe it’s not in Indonesia 😀
    I am looking forward to hear your next moves as I believe there are many things to do although “just” being a SAHM in a foreign country. I have heard some awesome stories and I do hope you find yours. Sending you happy thoughts!

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Just sending you so much Light and many blessings of joy!! ❤ 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  13. So true. Being a working mom & dropping my kid at day care center at my office, I feel tired & exhausted. Even then, I feel my life is a routine, packing for my lo, getting him ready, his bag for day care, cooking…..and the list goes on. I just think at times that I need some time to relax, go to a spa, movie etc… they have all become a luxury for me now, which I can’t seem to afford 😦
    However, something else happened recently. In my apartment where I stay, some beautiful ladies have started to practice for marathon. so it’s great to meet some new people and enjoy spending time with them, in a healthy way 🙂 we go for a run 2-3 km. And I am sharing my goal (weight reduction) with my office colleagues, this is making me feel I have some things in my life which i can enjoy 🙂
    May be you can share your goals, team up with someone, even via blog (Hint, Read- “Share with me ;)”) so that you feel you are being with someone… 🙂 After all, we all need some change in our lives 🙂 I hope this might help 🙂
    Praveena

    Liked by 1 person

    • Paardje says:

      Oh that’s so nice to hear. I’m excited about your goals and happy you’ve made some new friends 🙂 Thanks so much for your tips ❤

      Like

  14. I feel you on the sahm mom boredom! There are days my hubs comes home and I rattle his ear off, and he’s like, didn’t get out much today, did ya?? I started working out regularly at home, with an online support group and the support system combined with just having that 30 min workout as a daily goal has helped me tremendously. When I have one “set” thing at least in my day it helps me feel structured and less bored somehow?? Sounds like you have some good ideas already, hope you can find something that works for you!!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Paardje says:

      Structure indeed helps a lot. My blogging and exercise routine take up half of my weekdays already and I am grateful for this 🙂 I don’t have an online support group though. Sounds like I would benefit greatly from one – not necessarily for motivation but for the camaraderie 🙂 I’ll put this on my list. Thank you! 🙂 ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  15. Pingback: A Key to Unlocking the Boredom Trap – The Housewife's Daybook

  16. thehipandthrifty says:

    Don’t fret about how many friends other people think you should have; I’ve been in different stages in life where I had a lot of faces in my circle–whom I knew were there more for the moment than for real, “I’ve-got-your-back” friendship–and other times where I had a small tight group of family and friends that I knew I could always count on, and I much prefer the latter. The number is less important than the quality. 😉
    Don’t feel guilty about being bored, either; everyone feels that way at one time or another.Try something new that won’t conflict with your calendar, like planning an outing for the day for just you and your husband. If you’ve got the dreaded “I’m so bored I don’t even feel like doing something.”, there is an excellent website called Librivox.org that has hundreds of public-domain audio-books to fall into. If you really enjoy them, provided you have the correct software and a decent microphone, you can even volunteer to be a reader, no audition!
    Personally, when I’m bored but can’t arrange a trip (or even an outing beyond groceries 🙂 ) I ride my bike around, read a favorite book that I haven’t touched in a while, or look on Pinterest for crafts I’ve never tried before. As you seem to enjoy working with your hands (such as with your crochet projects) this could work out well for you. One thing I’ve gotten into (due in part to an emergency need for a mother’s day present! :D) is Alcohol Painting with Sharpie markers; drawing on tile or glass (I use clear bottles and sheets from cheap picture frames) with colored sharpies or other alcohol-based markers, then use a paintbrush to swirl in Isopropyl Alcohol. The effect is similar to watercolors, but it dries faster is very user-friendly.
    As for learning more Indonesian (saw that in the comments), there a tons of free online video lessons for people in just your situation, so you can at least hone your language skills a bit until you find a good tutor. Sometimes there are even online classes!
    Being bored isn’t a sin, but letting the depression that sometimes comes from boredom affect the way you treat others–and yourself–isn’t helpful. It’s good that you were able to see that you were feeling a bit ‘off’ and had the presence of mind to pull back. When you are bored, ask yourself, “Why?”, then ask “What am I going to do about it?”. Don’t worry. Boredom, like anger and happiness, is a state of mind. You can’t always choose what to feel, but you can always choose how you react to it. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    • Paardje says:

      Well said! 🙂 The length of your comment delights me to no end and the fact that it is chock full of empathy and advice has made me even more glad that I reached out to the blogosphere 🙂 I sincerely appreciate the time you took to read my post and type an encouraging reply ❤ ❤

      Liked by 2 people

  17. I completely relate to this. Thank you for making me feel normal!

    Liked by 1 person

  18. Pingback: Thank You All For “Melting Down” With Me + What I Did To Acknowledge Your Kindness | Of SnailMail, Books & Vanities

  19. There´s not much I know about being a SAHM or a mom, for that matter, but I will tell you, from personal experience, that boredom always strikes and when it does, especially to an expat all those ¨What am I doing here?, Is this really my life?´ thoughts pop up in the midst of it all. I think it´s more about routine and not so much about what we are specifically doing. But I did want to thank you so much for giving voice to this type of ennui and how it really feels. I find that wine helps, but being kind to yourself and allowing the process to happen is probably healthier…maybe help it along with a glass of wine :). In any case, I totally feel ya and thank you!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Paardje says:

      Yeah, I think expats even experience boredom on a deeper level than normal because it is accompanied by thoughts of ‘home’. There will always be certain things you miss about home, or certain things about the host country that you might find difficult, if not impossible, to embrace. I try to focus on what is working but my trip to Melbourne reminded me of so many things I love that I cannot find here. (Which is why my reaction upon arriving was quite strong) o_O

      Thank you so much for taking the time to read and reach out to me 🙂 Much appreciated ❤ ❤

      Like

  20. I do hope that you are feeling better. Maybe it is time to do something different? I say that with great hesitation as I am not one to go and try something new. But maybe it is for you? I hope you figure it all out. (((Hugs)))

    Liked by 1 person

    • Paardje says:

      In full honesty Ginny I think I need to live in Melbourne!!! This is a bold statement but while there I was reminded (painfully so) of my love for parks, libraries, crafts shops, fairs, museums, reading material written in English, choices, options … even talking to people without difficulty o_O o_O

      It was jarring to come back to my ‘golden cage’. But, I have to make the best of the current situation.

      Thanks for your support. It’s always a good day when I read your comment 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  21. socialgirl16 says:

    I have experienced meltdowns, too, with my job. And being a SAHM is a job. My job is boring and I don’t really love what I do. I often wonder if I should get a different job, something more challenging. Then I remind myself of my writing and how that is my passion. I don’t know if I have any advice for being a SAHM, since I am not one or a mom at that. The social seclusion thing, can you get out and do other things like arts and crafts or join a book club to meet people?

    Liked by 1 person

    • Paardje says:

      The social seclusion thing, can you get out and do other things like arts and crafts or join a book club to meet people? – How I wish! But no, this option is not available to me in my part of Indonesia. The only form of entertainment here is having a set of friends and doing things together. I used to go to Zumba class but stopped because my new friends (also SAHMs) were always going to malls every single day and it was too much for me 🙂 I’m sure there must be something to do around here but the language barrier and the city’s lay-out are huge obstacles.

      My blog is a good outlet for me though, and you reading and sharing your thoughts already lifts me up 🙂 So thanks a lot! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  22. iI enjoyed your post.

    After reading some comments, if you are interested. read what King Solomon wrote about this same subject 3000 years ago in an excerpt from a post I wrote about long life.

    Skeptics Take Notice

    Yes, you are right. Life will be at times both boring and burdensome according to King Solomon..

    “I applied my mind to study and to explore by wisdom all that is done under the heavens. What a heavy burden God has laid on the human race! I have seen all the things that are done under the sun; all of them are meaningless, a chasing after the wind.” (Ecclesiastes 1:13-14) .

    My advice to you if you want to help lighten your burdens and perhaps cheer you up in life to relieve boredom as well as add some excitement in life, perhaps you should listen to this contemporary song which I surmise even wise King Solomon would agree with. HERE

    https://rudymartinka.wordpress.com/2016/04/30/king-solomon-long-life-formula-post-three-conclusion/

    Regards and goodwill blogging.

    Liked by 1 person

  23. I don’t know that I have advice for you, but I do have understanding. As a SAHM I struggle with the sameness of each day. Everyone looks forward to the weekend, but me, my Sat and Sun are filled with the same To Do as every other day of the week. I try and do unexpected things during the day though, like random stops at the park as we drive by, for a quick walk. Or, going into the coffee shop and sitting down for coffee and chocolate milk rather than going through the drive through like normal. Simple, little things that change the day up just a bit. Hang in there!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Paardje says:

      OMG, yes!: everybody looking forward to the weekend, it being a respite from the usual. But not for me. This is why I wish I my environment was more foreigner friendly – as it is though, most of the time I need my husband to accompany me on most outings. And most weekends I just don’t demand because I know he wants to decompress instead. Oh well, somehow life still manages to be interesting except for the occasional dip 😀 Thanks so much for reaching out to me ❤ ❤

      Like

  24. Pingback: Share Your World 2016 #20 | Of SnailMail, Books & Vanities

  25. I can definitely relate to this. I’m on my second mat leave (in the UK you get a year if you want). It’s fantastic to spend time with my children but there are days when I want to scream with boredom (and if I’m honest, sometimes do). The endless cycles of washing, sorting clothes out, putting them away, changing nappies, tidying up and repeat = Groundhog Day! I try to get out of the house at least once a day to mix it up a little. x

    Liked by 1 person

    • Paardje says:

      Hang in there 😀 Call your friends or set up a coffee date with them if possible. Something social to look forward to at least once a month would do wonders. I wish I could do this myself but sadly my friends here have different interests, so … Oh well, a day at a time 😀 Thanks a lot for commenting ❤ ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  26. theturtle says:

    Great post , and what great answers from your readers 🙂
    How I missed reading You during my own “meltdown” . Glad to be back 🙂
    Turtle Hugs

    Liked by 1 person

  27. I say the secret to life is that it is boring.
    But I think your meltdown is a catylst to something. I am a SAHM but a total
    introvert who doesnt mind being alone with no one to talk to. I am on facebook a lot.
    I hate where I am living now, but do not have the language barrier and am planning to move out of here soon.
    Perhaps you could find another expat that you can commiserate with? I know complaining is out of fashion now and we are all supposed to think positive 100%.
    But believe me having a friend to vent with, laugh with, snark with is therapeutic. Husbands are not always the best choice for this. Maybe try searching meetups online or some expat groups online.
    Once a week I meet a friend who also grew up in NYand its nice to bitch and commiserate and just have someone understand how we feel.
    I think you already know what your little melt down was about 😉 and this is a great post to get it out.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Paardje says:

      Thank you so much for feeling me 🙂 ❤

      I am actually totally okay being an introvert at home. What bugs me the most is that I can't go out for a change of pace because there's just nothing out there for me – if there was, I'd be so fluent in the local language by now! This is a small city and perhaps 5 years from now there'd be a lot to see/do/buy but it's just not interesting right now.

      Right now I'm focusing on what I can do instead because – what else can I do? XD LOL! I'm still okay, as long as I'm not depressed. Maybe something will fall out of the sky for me 🙂 Fortunately we're planning a move in 7 month's time and I'm focusing on that 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  28. Very sorry to hear about your melt-down 😦 I can imagine how boredom could sometimes take over as a SAHM. I think we all have to deal with a certain amount of boredom, and it’s supposed to be healthy. When it’s too much there is action to be taken though to face it or have the energy to face it. You wrote that you have a whole bunch of ideas and projects going – how about you write them all down in small pieces of paper. Maybe ask your family to help you with tiny tasks or challenges, and you put them all in a big beautiful jar. Then every day whenever you feel bored you can get one of them out – so it’s not kind of like, YOUR decision what to do next (because everything you suggest yourself tends to appear boring…) but a random input about what you could do, a task, something to do or try or face or finish. Maybe that could help? Do you know of other expats or SAHM in your area, or is it really that remote? Or how about getting involved in a new project for your community – helping people, offering English lessons, creating book groups where you pick a book and then meet again to discuss the content…? Stay strong, and keep remembering that yes, it’s good you remember to feel grateful that you don’t have to work ❤ See yourself as a queen with tons of time to do whatever she wants! ❤ ❤ ❤ *BIGhugs*

    Liked by 1 person

    • Paardje says:

      Oh yes, I am a queen!! LOL! Love this suggestion XD ❤ ❤

      Thank you so much for reading and sympathizing. I do love your suggestion about the "ideas jar" 🙂

      I have meanwhile come to understand that my boredom is "external" in that it's due to the remoteness of my environment and not me, per se. Thankfully, I never run out of ideas of things to do at home. Albeit confined within this house you'll never find me depressed for a lack of things to do 🙂 I just miss engaging in society and being able to go out on my own and have things to explore.

      Next year will look totally different though. So I'm looking forward to that 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  29. Pingback: Gettin’ Busy With It | Of SnailMail, Books & Vanities

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