Experiencing A Li’l Meltdown

Dearest friends, have a seat, help yourself to some chips and wine and lend me your ear. I need to talk.

So as you probably know I just came back from a wonderful (say that aloud 3 times while doing a body roll!) week in Melbourne, and I had SO many things in mind to tell you. I was SO excited. I worried about the length of my post, and then how many posts I would make because one would surely not be enough.

But I was not prepared for what met me when I boarded a ferry – the final leg of our homeward journey – to Indonesia.

Boredom. It hit me hard, right smack in the face and chest. It made me feel angry, irritable, annoyed and in despair.  This demon is one I knew was already lurking in the shadows, just waiting for its chance to pounce on me. It finally did.

Yesterday was Mothers’ Day, but I found no relief nor solace in it. I had a fight with my significant other and even attempted to pick a fight with my daughter (I know, right?).  Thankfully, by the time the lights were turned off for sleep something made me Google “why are housewives bored”, and “how to avoid boredom as a SAHM”, and I read and read and am still reading and somehow all the information I gleaned has calmed me down significantly.

Okay. Exhale. I am not going crazy, and I certainly am not the only one to feel this way.

(What’s that? Oh of course you can have more wine and chips. Now pay attention).

When I say “bored”, it is not for the lack of things to do. It is rather how my life as a housewife has imitated that of a laundry cycle – wash, rinse, dry. Repeat.

Plus, and this is a big, fat, imposing “PLUS” – my social life is practically non-existent. I am boxed inside the house. Circumstances as well as personal preferences make it difficult, if not impossible, for me to cultivate a life outside the house.

My current world is very small.

And this is not healthy. Not healthy at all!

And it’s also very difficult to not have anyone to talk to. If you don’t want to sink any deeper you have to self-medicate. Which is what I’m doing via Google.  (And I am most definitely not talking about cyber flirting or affairs! It’s amazing what I found about this online supposedly as a panacea for bored housewives).

(Yes, of course you can take your shoes off & prop your feet up. Stop distracting me!).

The good thing about hitting rock bottom though is that it makes you face your demon. I mean really face it and see it and figure out how to either kick it hard in the gut or learn mad make-up skills to make it look better.

I don’t know if I can kick this demon hard enough to make it go away. But I also still have my wits about me enough to realize that I am in fact pretty lucky to not have to work.  And that I am not paralyzed by feelings of uselessness nor helpless.  And that I know where to find the sexy genie who can make it go away – she’s not in the bottle, she’s in the mirror.

How I wish it [ennui] would never come back indeed. But I know all of us, regardless of individual situations, yes even those who have demanding 9-5 jobs, must face the scourge of boredom from time to time.

(Pictures of Melbourne you say? Will you please focus?!)

Okay so I have already amassed a handful of ideas from all my reading about bored stay-at-home-wives/moms and, some have spoken to me. I’m making a list, checking it twice and planning my next moves. And do you have some ideas maybe, some tips? More wine or chips?

Okay then, we’ll talk about this some more soon. I just wanted to check in with you because I missed you too. And I already feel better just by putting this out there.

And I love you for listening ❤ ❤ ❤