The Sneaky Little Thing That’s Preventing Me From Finding A Job

I have this friend that is often the hapless beneficiary of my rants and confessions about the isolation of my life as an introvert expat SAHM (in a quiet, small city in a non-English speaking foreign country – sorry, I just somehow feel less maladjusted if I lay out the parameters like that πŸ™„).

For months now she has been passionately encouraging me to find work online. If not for anything but the mental exercise and the opportunity for communicating with more human beings.

I have been tempted many times – my resume is already polished, an online profile has been created, and feeble, half-hearted attempts at answering job postings have been initiated. But I always halt the process before it “gets too serious”.

And I don’t know what to think about the reason why. Sometimes I ask myself if the admission of which now certifies me as a majestic “bum” but the truth is – I have fallen in love with BEING IN THE NOW.

Being in the now – what does this mean?

Well to me it means asking myself at almost every juncture during the day “what do I feel like doing now?”.Β  Sometimes this means washing the dishes, or doing dance fitness videos, at other times learning something new or even just deciding to have tea while listening to the chatter of birds. It’s never the same and there’s no rhyme or reason to it.

But more often than not, it sends me off to bed at night with a feeling of serenity.

Turns out it’s really something that I have come to appreciate about being a SAHM (with no small children to take care of). And I’ve come to see it as perhaps a luxury only afforded to SAHMs (with no small people to take care of) – the freedom to spend the day however you want. The luxury of listening to the voice inside you and letting it be your guide πŸ€—

And I figured, if I had a job I would no longer have this luxury. And apparently it’s something I deem more precious at the moment than mental challenge and increased social contact.

And so I say to all SAHMs like me:

just-be

Enjoy it while it lasts! ❀

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28 comments

    • Right? πŸ˜€ I know SAHMs can get guilty about this sometimes but it’s really an awesome thing especially if you allow it to inspire you to be more loving and patient to your family or to come up with even even more delicious meals as a result (or things like that). Well at least, this is what’s happening to me πŸ˜€

      I appreciate you sharing your thoughts. Have a beautiful weekend! ❀

      Liked by 1 person

  1. I’m is a similar situation (except for the expat part) and have finally (mostly) stopped beating myself up for not earning my share or being productive all the time and just enjoy this time while I have it & my kids before they go off to college.

    Liked by 2 people

    • There you go, stop beating yourself about it. Stop struggling and start conquering this new domain! The husband and kids want a happy mommy, so be that person πŸ˜€ ❀

      Like

    • Great post! I left a (rather long, hope you don’t mind) response πŸ˜€ Thanks for the link. It’s always interesting for me to read about what other SAHMs think of being a SAHM πŸ™‚

      Liked by 2 people

  2. Wow, serendipity. I had fallen out of the blogging world into a malaise, suddenly decide to peek back in today and then I read your post. I have been agonizing over just this. I am a SAHM mom of a 10 year old and I haven’t worked for 10 years. I was burnt out and unfulfilled with my job teaching English as a second language in the Public School system. Now I have moved to another state (2nd state in 10 years) and a smaller condo rather than a house. There really is nothing for me to do – no flooding basement, no leaking roof, no one around. Everyone is at work. This being America – your job or lack thereof defines you. I haven’t even done my resume yet. I did dig the printer out of the box and plug it in and ask my husband to bring home some paper. But that’s about it. You are right – I do not want to give up my freedom. I don’t want to rush off to work in the morning and rush home at night to cook dinner and go to bed. I don’t really care for a full-time career anymore, but most part-time jobs will require nights and/or weekends or have limited vacation time. I enjoy being able to go on quite a few trips based on my son’s school holidays. Most people here view this as spoiled luxury, so thank you for putting a zen spin on it. Enjoy just being.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Well hello there sexy kindred spirit! XD ❀

      I think choosing to be a SAHM is a personal and family decision. If the family can function well on just one income, the husband supports it, and it's something that appeals to you, then quit the guilt tripping and make yourself (and everybody else) happy πŸ˜€ Doing good or being productive is not confined to earning a paycheck and having a formal title to go with it.

      Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts πŸ˜€

      Liked by 2 people

  3. As a recovering addict, the 12 steps taught me the value of the now. I cannot erase my past, so I might as well quit dwelling in it (and beating myself up for it). I have no control over tomorrow, so I can make plans but I cannot plan the outcomes (otherwise I’m setting myself up for disappointment). I might not always be able to do whatever strikes my fancy in this very moment, I can enjoy the moment as I complete the task that I don’t want to do yet MUST be done.

    You are so right, though. Not having children does free up much of my time and attention; I have the luxury of leisure, even in tasks that don’t strike my fancy. This allows me opportunities to find pleasure in even the most unpleasant tasks.

    Thank you for reminding me how truly luxurious my life is, that I have much to be grateful for, and that I have chosen to set myself on a path to simplicity that isn’t necessarily easy but is definitely rewarding.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I’m only recently coming into my own on “being in the moment”. It’s blissful, even when my back goes out and I’m paralyzed. Living alone and being self-contained is an amazing feeling. There is no anxiety to perform or constantly do something. Well, I do things. I just do them on my time and my terms. πŸ™‚ Thanks for existing. I’d like to know more people like you and me are out there.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yes, it is blissful πŸ˜€ Especially if you’ve come from a place where time seems in short supply and there’s just so many things to do. The trick though, is to be able to appreciate it πŸ˜€

      I appreciate you sharing your thoughts ❀ Happy New Year! πŸ™‚

      Like

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