The Introvert Expat SAHM Diaries

Another Reason I Feel Ambivalent About Social Media

FNR

So now that my friends are following me on my IG, I am reminded of one of the major reasons I quit Facebook many years ago – the feeling that I have to respond (at the very least “like”) their posts. (Which can be a total time-suck by the way, well, you know how it is).

Now I am in no way saying that my friends are requiring this of me, or at the very least, expecting this of me. The feeling of obligation is entirely mine. And I am quite good at dismissing it, actually.  But then another niggling thought surfaces: will my silence cost me likes and comments as well?

Aye, there’s the rub!

Because who among us doesn’t want that kind of support, encouragement and show of interest that comes from their likes & comments? It’s a wonderful feeling. Why deny yourself of that?

But the thing is, some of my friends like to stalk themselves (i.e. make a running commentary of their daily lives). There is nothing wrong with this, they are having fun and are not hurting anyone. But now, instead of seeing and being inspired by beautiful crochet masterpieces from the lovely creative people that I follow, I now see trivial, mundane photos of ordinary daily life. (Which, after a series of similar posts, ceases to be interesting to me, if I am to be completely honest).

To me this is a double-edged sword. On the one hand it feels wonderful to be among friends, on the other, it is a distraction. I find myself at times wanting to unfollow and feeling guilty (a bad friend) for having that thought. I yearn for the blissful peace that I once experienced when I was just putting myself out there to strangers – no expectations, no obligations. (I also kept myself distanced from the occasional skirmish that seems to be normal among housewives/girlfriends. They’re thankfully temporary, we get back to wearing identical tops soon enough 🤭)

I guess I am just weird / naive / stuck-up / stick-up-her-arse / being a snob like that 🤭😄

What are your thoughts about this kind of dilemma? Any tips for me?

 

Photo by Eaters Collective on Unsplash

37 thoughts on “Another Reason I Feel Ambivalent About Social Media”

      1. I have done the same thing on FB. I have “unfollowed” (but remained “friends”) with the majority of people I’m connected to. Too often my FB newsfeed becomes just a long stream of unnecessary and trivial info.

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  2. I totally agree. I often find myself feeling like I HAVE to post things just to “keep up” with what everyone else posts and in my head, but sometimes I force myself to take a social break to get away from it all! I’ve also found the mute button to be really great. 🙂

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  3. You are not weird. I think we all want to post something meaningless some days. Maybe it is just to post or to even document something to look back on someday. If I see something I like, I’ll like it or comment. If it doesn’t do anything for me that day, I scroll on by. I can like or comment or not on whatever I want and I’m sure other people feel the same way. Sometimes certain things grab our attention that wouldn’t on another day. Just give yourself permission to do what feels right for you 🙂

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    1. Oh that’s a nice thought to bear in mind Ginny – that they’re just documenting their lives, perhaps for looking back on in the future. I’ve just been looking at it from my point of view only.

      And that is why I love sharing my thoughts on this blog. I get so much great advice & support & encouragement 🙂 Thanks a million as usual, G ❤ ❤

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  4. I tried to “Like” your blog post here, but when I clicked on “Like” nothing happened. Oh well…

    Anyway, welcome to the “weird / naive / stuck-up / stick-up-her-arse / being a snob like that” club. As someone who sets very strong boundaries, who hates drama, and who says, “No” to things I know I won’t/can’t/don’t want to commit to, I’m probably perceived the same way.

    Facebook is a dilemma for me, too. I much preferred forums that concentrated on one topic that I was interested in, instead of the messy all-encompassing “what I had for dinner during my wonderful vacation with my wonderful children/grandchildren”, political, spiritual, everyday stuff that goes on on Facebook. Still, I participate because I want to keep in touch with friends and family.

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    1. LOL! 😀 THat’s just it, we want to keep in touch but oh the wading and swimming and deep diving we need to do thru’ “the ocean of flotsam” in order to get to the gems 😀

      Haha, thanks for making me feel less lonely in this box, B 😀 ❤

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  5. To be honest, I feel a similar way…I follow a bunch of pages that i enjoy for inspiration or knowledge such as third eye thirst of facts weird on IG. However, I do find posts from persons that are just selfies or some random picture to be just junk on my timeline. There is a diff btw just putting up a food pic and putting up a food pic with some information about this nee cool restaurant (or some type of review). Anyways to each his own.

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    1. I agree! And unfortunately there are just those who are so into themselves and their lives that they just can’t stop informing us about it 😀 😀

      Thank you for making me feel less of a weirdo 😉 And for taking the time to read and share your thoughts ❤

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      2. 😀 And I just followed you on IG because I felt like it 😉 I hope that’s ok, you’ve got great pictures on there!

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      3. Lololol…I just saw 😂🤣 I followed back. So cool that you are into knitting…i tried creating a swimsuit once…didnt finish 🤷‍♀️ but it is a cool hobby 🙏

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      4. Aww, thank you! 🙂 You are now in charge of making sure my feed has interesting & cool photos (you know, to break up the barrage of selfies/foodfies/nailfies & whatnot) 😀 But, no pressure! 😉 ❤

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  6. If you don’t like responding or liking, then don’t do it. For that reason, to people that I am not that close I tell that I don’t have social media and use pseudonym as my username. For people that are closer, they know I am different and are told that I don’t like selfies that much (or anything) and I like different things and accept that they won’t be getting my response if I genuinely don’t like that picture.
    Don’t pressure yourself especially where there is no reason to be pressured about.
    Have a nice one and think about this 😉

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    1. I was about to respond to you with “but you don’t know my friends” 😀 LOL! But you’ve certainly given me something to think about. It’s probably true that the “pressure” is all in my head. I appreciate that you’ve given yourself as an example. I could take a cue from that 🙂

      Thank you very much for reading and sharing your thoughts ❤

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      1. Thank you for the nice words 🙂
        I believe that if your friends know you and are your friends, they won’t be mad or appreciate you less if you don’t „like“ their every single picture or post. You all have different interests. They will know that you appreciate them but you don’t have to be same as them, just like in real life 🙂
        You can talk with them on this subject and you may even inspire them to be more creative and do more, who knows 🙂

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  7. I totally agree with you about Facebook. I too quit a few years ago after being bombarded with posts on a daily basis. One woman posted pix of her kids several times a day, including a tickle fight, which was the last straw. I think it’s great that she is having fun playing with her children, but that’s too much sharing for me. It was a very awkward situation, because we have many friends in common. Rather than unfriend her, I quit Facebook all together and have not regretted it.

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    1. LOL 🤣 Reminds me of how troubled I was when a person wanted to be my friend on FB (and I didn’t want to) but I couldn’t say no because her friend was a friend of mine [on FB] -> and she asked me in person! 🤪 Talk about being put on the spot 😆 I guess you and I just have standards that FB still needs to address😉

      Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts ❤

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  8. No shame, I just ignore any posts on my feed that aren’t yarn-related! I wonder if Insta has the same feature as FB where you can mute people, so you don’t have to see their posts but you’re still ‘friends’…

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    1. Yeah that’s what I’m starting to do too. I give selective attention 🙂 Someone already mentioned that mute button on here. I need that button 😀

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  9. As an organisation we’ve dropped ALL social media – your ‘time-suck’ comment is bang on. So many lonely people sharing the inconsequential aspects of their lives. Never feel guilty for placing greater value on your time than others do. Or for being less lonely.

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    1. This – Never feel guilty for placing greater value on your time than others do” made me sit up straight. Thank you so much for contributing to this discussion.

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  10. What a great post! At the risk of sounding like a truly terrible person, I opted out of Facebook a few years back because I honestly just didn’t care about most of the things that people were posting about. Of course I’m interested about the important things, but I had friends who posted pics about every meal they had including pics at fast food restaurants, lengthy stories about ‘adorable’ things their kids did, that frankly, weren’t all that adorable. And then there came the opinions on vaccinations, health care and politics, which angered me to no end. So I deleted my account and never looked back. It’s funny though, now I’ve got an Instagram account and blog for my knitting patterns, but I’ve not invited any friends to follow me. It’s harder to start from scratch, but I prefer to keep my ‘business’ and my actual ‘life’ separate.

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    1. Aww, thank you so much! 🙂 I agree that it’s better to keep business separate from actual life. I think that you are better able to focus on your goals that way because there’s no distraction.

      Thank you so much for joining this discussion 🙂 ❤

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  11. I have so many friends on Facebook but interacts, too seldom, to a few and only when I happen to see an interesting post. I am past liking to the nth times and actually feels guilty when asked if I already saw (obviously not) what was tagged to me. I am still compelled at times to browse but my inner circle is used to me being behind on FB updates. 😅

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    1. That – being asked if you already saw, or an experience I actually had, being asked “why” I hadn’t liked a person’s post yet – gets really annoying. I plan to open an FB account for my handmade business and I’m really leaning towards keeping it a secret from anyone who knows me 😂😂

      Thank you so much for contributing to this post ❤ 🙂

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  12. I totally agree and haven’t been using Facebook much lately. It does however affect a business page’s reach quite noticeably. People respond much more if you’re interacting with them too. But the time!!! I find Instagram much quicker to use, love the visual nature , posts tend to be shorter too, my feed is full of beautiful crochet and talented crafty folks 💕

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    1. I agree, IG is much more manageable. And I have come to look forward to scanning my feed for the crochet inspiration (I made sure to follow a lot of them!). 😀

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      2. Oh wow, I appreciate that so much! 😘😘 I’m still learning how to take nice photos so I hope you can be patient 🤭 There’s SO much eye-candy from the crochet people on Insta that I can’t help but be motivated to come up higher with my photos too 😉 Thanks so much again ❤

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