July 18: Thankful Thursday 🙏

I am thankful, despite all appearances to the contrary, of this whole uprooted expat-SAHM experience.

I used to be wound up so tightly, wearing my type-A + perfectionist personality like a badge of honor. I did not have the capacity to be interested in people, or to be interested in life, for that matter. What’s worse is that I wasn’t even aware of it.

I was always just busy and preoccupied with wowing the bosses at work. Now I notice the small things like, how beautiful fresh morning air smells or how good my eldest is at dancing, or when my baby is getting angry or when my husband does the dishes  ….

And I just feel grateful a lot more often.

I might virtually be kicking, screaming and throwing things all over the place throughout this whole experience, and yet I know without an iota of doubt that I will never – among many other things – take friends for granted again.

I learned how to cook (IK,R?!!), crochet, knit and blog and am ready to welcome new skills into my life. I am now an exerciser. I am taking care of my 1 y.o. without the help of a nanny and, my house is proof of this, I am no longer such a perfectionist 😁

I just know that I have become a better version of myself. And for this, I am thankful ❤

July 3: Goals

It is said countless times that what separates successful people from all the rest is that successful people have goals written down.

Allez, let us therefor join the ranks of the successful and write down our goals for July, shall we? 🙂

Mine are:

Blog 6 days a week – do mini-assignments everyday

I want to blog again so I’ve given myself a ‘challenge’ to do one small ordinary act with intention everyday, and to blog about it.

I am an expat SAHM who is less-than-happy with my environment. I have found it really difficult to take root in this foreign country despite having lived here for 4 straight years already. Because there is nothing outside the house that I find worth going out for, nothing interesting ever goes on in this city, plus I have a 1-year old, I very rarely go out of the house which, definitely does not contribute to my happiness.

I have since learned that I need to exert more effort than usual not to fall into depression. Blogging gave me an outlet for  my thoughts. It was like I had friends to talk to, and every time a “stranger” (yes, I’m looking at YOU dear) would care to comment, I would feel heard.

So I am coming back to “friends” because I need all the friends I can get, real & virtual 🙂 🙂 🙂

Be consistent with my exercise routine

After giving birth in October of 2017, I was only able to get some momentum going on any type of exercise last May (2019). Pre-childbirth I used to LOVE exercise and HIIT-type routines were my jam, jelly and butter combined with dance fitness & strength training.

That is why it came as a total shock and huge downer for me to observe that my body, 1 year post-natal, still loathed exercise! I just couldn’t bring myself to do anything, not even a beginner 10-minute mat-Pilates routine. Heck, I couldn’t even do a walk-in-place!

I tried several times and each time I would fail. Last May, after reading so many self-help books & listening to motivational podcasts, I finally got myself to walk around the block 2 evenings a week. Fortunately, the experience was enjoyable so since then I have been able to do it 3 times a week and at a much faster pace. (Yaaaaaay!!!)

Inspired by this success, by the end of last month I also started adding in some strength training routines into the mix, but only for 3 times a week.  I am taking it veeery slow because whenever I do a strength training routine, no matter how short & light, my body feels like it’s been hit by a ton of bricks for 5-6 days after! So I only do body-weight, mostly Pilates, and for max 30 minutes at a time only.

Painstakingly slow based on my previous standards, but you gotta work with your body and respect its own drum beat.

That said, I am hopeful that this schedule & intensity will work this time, and my goal therefor is to be consistent with it.

❤

Which brings me to today’s mini-assignment: listen to music & crazy-dance 🙂

❤

 

Treat Yourself

At 34 weeks pregnant, foggy brained with acid reflux & pelvic pain 😵, the last thing I want to do is go on a road trip to somewhere away from the comforts & familiarity of home. But, this is exactly what we did last Saturday.

I realized now was my last time to experience a change in scenery for a very long, long time. I also missed looking out into the infinite horizon and breathing in fresh salty sea air, so I asked the husband if we could stay overnight at a beach resort.

The day was rainy and gloomy, but I got my wonderfully tangy sea air, seafood (I swear the hearty Tom Yum soup silenced my acid reflux for the rest of our stay!😃), and yep, definitely a change of environment 😍

My daughter wanted to bathe in the sea and I myself wanted get at least knee-deep into sea water, but a warning about stone fish during low-tide changed our minds (what are stone fish?) 😳😳 So we just sat on the chairs and stared into the horizon.

This was the view outside our window. My husband and daughter still got to enjoy the pool the following morning while I lounged under a parasol and took pictures of my bloated feet 😄😄😄

There was an al fresco buffet for dinner that evening and some kind of magic show was going on. But by then I was feeling very tired (but contented) and preferred to stay in the air-conditioned room enjoying a banana split 😋

So I guess what I’m trying to say here is: go treat yourself. Whatever it is, big or small, it’s sure to make you smile 🙃❤️

What made YOU smile this week?

~~ oOo ~~

click here to join the fun! 😃

Unfocused & Angklung

This week in Paardje’s life … I wish I had a lot to share, I’ve been worrying about not blogging enough but, truth be told, I am just unfocused and dazed 😴 🙄 I guess it comes with the 31 weeks preggers territory.  All I’ve been doing as of late is play games on my Kindle, read other blogs, sleep (a lot!) and read up about breastfeeding.

I feel very huge and cumbersome now.  I don’t feel much for going outside because aside from feeling like a hippo and looking like a hippo (in my generally shapeless 3rd tri maternity wear), I tire quite easily.

I have been “forced” to get out this week though.  The school my daughter attends had a formal opening of their new school building and, for the occasion, she had to learn how to play this beautiful Indonesian bamboo musical instrument – recognized by UNESCO as a “Masterpiece of Oral and Intangible Heritage of Humanity” – called Anklung.

I’m so proud of B1! 😍😍😍

And for some reason, I just can’t help but get teary-eyed with this. 😢 Really. I mean, I can’t even get through the first few notes without threatening to bawl! 😭😭😭

Praying About It

Nowhere in my entire life is the adage of blooming where you are planted more challenged (or taunting) than in my present circumstances.

First, there is the double-edged sword of time freedom-in-abundance. I am a housewife with no small children to look after. And thanks to 2 wonderful housekeepers (included in the husband’s expat package) who come to the house every morning to do majority of the housework, I lift my fingers only quite sparsely – to load the laundry and hang it to dry, wash dishes and cook dinner.

Boy, am I lucky! So much time to explore the world, no?

However, there is a downside to my current situation. I am in a foreign, non-English speaking country. In a small, relatively young city that has yet very little to no options for entertainment and/or socializing (especially for foreign SAHMs). That little possibility that something worthwhile might be out there to explore comes with the hurdle of having to learn a new, very alien sounding language.

And I tried.  But without the opportunity to immerse, I retain only the basics and my frustration. Or let me correct myself, I have found nothing out there (that does not require traveling far) that is worth getting fluent with the language over. Now don’t get me wrong, learning a new language is a boon in itself. But for me, there just has to be another incentive on top of that.

Hence I remain a couch explorer of the internet and of the antics of  my own mind.

So now husband and I have decided to move to an English-speaking metropolitan city in December. (Our own decision, not tied to his job). Every atom is my body rejoices at the prospect. Libraries, museums, farmers markets, coffee shops, parks, cheesecake, oh my! And no more people running away from me in department stores because I am a bule.

But my husband’s boss apparently values the husband so much that he is coming up with all sorts of offerings of promotions and bonuses and of moving heaven and earth. Last week there was the offer to arrange a job for the husband in Germany, then last night there was an email that a post would be opened for him in Hungary.

I don’t blame the husband for feeling like the biggest rockstar since sliced bread. (That’s a double whammy for you in the interest of emphasis).

And for WAFFLING.

But the honest truth is that I don’t want to be uprooted any longer! (Stamps feet heavily to emphasize).

I want to build a HOME already!

This is beyond boredom or merely keeping myself occupied.

I want to take root!

And for me this means finally settling someplace where we can be together and where the 3 of us, not just my husband, will have opportunities and we can finally build a community. (And besides, news coverage has me questioning the safety of Europe at the moment).

Sigh!

But December is still about 4 months away and I can only “pressure” the husband so much.

And I did decide to be a trailing spouse. Although right now it sucks.

So I’m sitting here ranting to y’all and feeling the urge to splurge on yarn. Mountains of yarn. Warehouses of yarn! Ocean liners of yarn! (There, let the company you work for pay for that husband! Oh and I want unlimited supply of extra virgin coconut oil too! MUAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!!).

So I don’t know. Maybe I will learn masonry.