The Introvert Expat SAHM Diaries

About the 1000 Tiny Steps that Lead to Your Destination

In this post I want to continue talking about setting goals and, more specifically, the 1000 or so teeny-tiny steps you take that move you closer to your pot of gold.

Do they matter?

So as mentioned in the previous post I’m reading a book about goal setting because I want to get better at accomplishing goals. What prompted me to explore this subject further is the couple or so goals I set for last year and this year that I didn’t accomplish.

But if you ask me why I didn’t accomplish them, it really isn’t for the lack of trying.

For instance, one of my goals was/is to get back to exercising the way I did pre-baby. I tried, and tried, and tried again. I got discouraged many times, stopped, tried again, and finally had to admit to myself that my post-baby body just needed to start someplace waaaaay less intense.Β And then there’s the matter of finding the time to exercise considering I’m taking care of a baby/soon to be 2-yr old.

So really, if I think back to all the times I tried and to finally now reach this point where I have been able to consistently exercise every day … that’s a feat!

But this falls way too short of the “real” goal.

And how about that goal where I wanted to earn money from my crafts. That’s also taking an entire lifetime to come to fruition! But I certainly do recall having explored options, working through a few disappointments, testing some stuff, etc … so that by now I still don’t have that online shop I envisioned, but I finally know what my product is going to be.

When I set these goals I truly didn’t think that they were too big. And I truly thought they were doable within the timeframe given :/

Anyhoot, after some thought I just felt that I wasn’t being kind to myself by dismissing all those tiny steps I took to move me closer to my goals. I felt that they deserved to be acknowledged and celebrated too.

So with that said, what I plan to do moving forward is to log all the tiny “victories” in a special notebook that keeps track of my goals. That way I can see how far I’ve come without getting disillusioned at the perceivedΒ “lack” of progress. I can see that I haven’t been idle, and I can see that not all of the steps were complete failures.

I believe that the tiny steps deserve their applause too.

That is all I wanted to share today sexy people! Thank you so much for reading πŸ™‚

Have a good one! ❀

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The Introvert Expat SAHM Diaries

Is It Too Early to Think of 2020 Goals?

Hello sexy people! ❀ πŸ™‚

It’s Friday morning over here in my sunny corner of the globe and I am reading a book about goal setting ~ why? Because I want to set and accomplish some goals in 2020. I want to look back on the year with the satisfaction that comes from having earned new “gold stars”. And I want to be deliberate about it.

Now just to backtrack, I’ve always been a goal setter. Even when I became a full time SAHM I continued to set goals, daily, weekly, monthly, you name it, I’d set a goal for it. ‘s Matter of fact, I had a big goal for 2019 … it didn’t make it past the front gate.

Most of my goals do not make it past the front gate 😦

I kinda dabble at it in the beginning and then I get distracted and blah, blah, blah, & fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la ….

I must hold myself to a higher standard, being a life coaching student & all that jazz!

So I have decided to devote the remaining months of 2019 to studying how to set goals. Because I’ve never really studied it.Β  I fish something interesting out of my head, buy a fancy whiteboard to write it on and hope that by placing it somewhere visible it will somehow get done.

Well, that strategy rarely, if ever, works for me. Obviously.

And it’s struck me that I am actually being flimsy with this powerful tool for life improvement.

So as I made this decision a few goals immediately started to materialize in my head (they’re like flies swarming about!). Now I’m trying to be choosy because I want these goals to actually mean something. The book I’m reading says that the stronger your emotions are around that goal, the better the outcome. So here they are so far –

A flat tummy by my birthday.

(Oh yes, I certainly have some strong emotions around this one!)

I want some tone in there, I don’t want it to bulge. I don’t need a 6-pack, I just want it flat.

Celebrate my birthday with my family at a nice resort in Bintan.

I have just very recently discovered that the next-door island to Batam (where I live), Bintan, is a paradise! I saw gorgeous pictures of luxury resorts and I’ve been itching ever since! There’s even a place that’s nominated to become a UNESCO world heritage site! Who needs Bali when it’s much farther & expensive?!!

So this is goal #2.

An online shop by July. Or within the 3rd Qtr. But the goal is July.

This was my 2019 goal but I did not even know what my product was going to be. Let alone the criteria for selecting said product – very important!

In fairness, I did experiment with a few options and learned quite a lot in the process ~ including the need to learn about goal-setting πŸ˜€

An outside hobby.

I do not want to stay cooped up at home anymore. I understand that most of my time will still be indoors with the adorable toddler but I want something that will bring me in contact with other adult human beings at least once a week. I can do once a week.

Notes on goal 2 & 4Β 

These sound more like to-do’s but these are sub-goals that I’ve broken down from a bigger, kinda nebulous goal which is to enjoy where I live.

An open slot for goal #5

I still lack 1 goal. I want to make it 5 because I am turning 45 next year and I just like to relate things and turn it into a fun game πŸ˜‰Β Β I’ll let you gorgeous people know as soon as I’ve finalized it πŸ™‚

 

~~ meanwhile, let me ask you πŸ™‚ ~~

Have you started to think about your own goals for next year already?

Do you enjoy setting goals?

What one new thing would you want to bring into your life next year?

πŸ‘‡πŸ‘‡πŸ‘‡πŸ‘‹

 

The Introvert Expat SAHM Diaries

If Your Life Had Categories What Would They Be?

I just read this wonderful book Happy Housewives by Darla Shine and it’s truly made me feel excited to be a housewife/homemaker, so much so that I’m even thinking of writing the author to tell her how blessed I feel to have read her book πŸ™‚

One of the things it’s prompted me to do was check out homemaking blogs & magazines to get ideas on how to make homemaking fun. Curiously though, I only related to a few items while quickly dismissing the rest. A question slowly articulated in my head:Β if your life was a blog, what categories would it have?

Let me be the first to answer πŸ™‚

Since I was staring at one of those homemaking blogs, I found it easier to start with what categories it will likelyΒ notΒ have:

THE NOT LIKELIES

I’ll never have a category on parenting. If ever it will, it will never contain advice because I am a forever-student on this topic.

I won’t have a category on intimacy with your spouse because well, that’s just too intimate to put under a microscope.

I am not homeschooling and have no plans to.

I am just not the slightest bit interested in the science of stain removal, the proper care & maintenance of clothes & linens, nor in the effective eradication of mold & mildew.

I don’t like to analyze what I cook. If it’s edible and my charges are eating it to satisfaction then I’ve hit the goal. Next!

I do like to tidy, organize and decorate but I don’t generally find these topics interesting enough to talk about in detail.

I have never needed anything more elaborate than a pen and paper for keeping track of things.

Special Note:Β  I do understand that this is just one side of being a SAHM/homemaker and that there are as many variants of being a SAHM as there are, well, SAHMs.

So then what would my categories be …?

Well …

THE YESSES

I am interested in personal management, the ability to regulate thoughts and feelings, to harness the amazing power of the brain to become a better version of me.

Ageing well as it relates to staying fit, remaining curious about life, and being socially engaged.

Knitting and crochet (you know I had to have these in there. LOL!).Β  And maybe soon macrame πŸ˜€

~~~

So what a weird blog post this is πŸ˜€ I started out saying the Happy Housewives book made me so happy only to end with the idea that I chose to focus on different things!

I guess I just wanted to clarify what truly floats my boat and, of course, ask you that question so you could have fun thinking up your own answers πŸ™‚ And please, share them in the comments section. You know how much I love getting your comments and how much less isolated that makes me feel ❀

Have a beautiful weekend y’all!!

 

Lifecoaching

Do You Need To Be A Chef In Order To Teach Someone How to Cook?

I and my 2 daughters have been taking turns being under the weather this past week so blogging has unfortunately been shoved in the background. So much for blogging 6 days a week :/

But I’m here today to share something with you that has galvanized me into taking a particular course of action.

I was listening to a podcast where a lifecoach was sharing her journey towards becoming a lifecoach. It totally blew my mind. Her story was remarkable in that it was so straightforward: she didn’t know what to do with her life so she moved to another country and once there decided to be a lifecoach.

What?

She did not know what to do with her life so she became a lifecoach. She was confused about life so she got certified to help other people with their own confusions.

This got me thinking. And wondering. (Don’t you need more than that? More personal success perhaps?)

Anyway here’s the thing … after hearing this podcast, I decided to enroll in a lifecoaching course myself. Dan-dan-daaaaaannnnn … Because, why not? If you’ve read my previous post and if a lady who did not know what to do with her life can become a lifecoach then I think I can too. I’ve certainly learned a lot from the “trials and tribulations” I have gone through these past (almost) 4 years as an unwilling (but appreciative) expat.

But this is not about feeling envious or anything but that this interview really did get me curious and gave me the motivation to enroll. I don’t know if I want to become a practicing lifecoach eventually but I certainly see myself helping friends [who want to be helped] at an informal/personal level.

At the very least I am in it for the additional/deeper personal transformation, on top of whatever personal transformations I have already experienced contemplating these rowdy, garbage-bin ransacking macaque monkeys of Kota Batam, Indonesia.

I’ll keep you up to date πŸ˜‰

Have a beautiful weekend y’all ❀

Crochet, Potpourri

July 10: Chillax πŸ˜Ž

Good day my friends!

I wasn’t able to get back to you on yesterday’s quest because I was feeling down in the dumps. I thought it was a stroke of ennui again but then I realized, albeit towards the end of the day, that I was just feeling the effects of a new workout video I did on Monday. That plus I slept way past usual bedtime on Monday evening after having discovered a very funny person on Instagram and gobbling up his feed with gusto 😁

Alright then, it’s time for some pictures as promised. My assignment yesterday was to finish a crochet top I was working on. I was really procrastinating on it and couldn’t get a move on until I had you to hold me accountable.

So this was where I started yesterday morning:

thumbnail (2)

And by the end of the day I managed to do a photo shoot for the IG 😊

I really feel good at how this top has turned out. I crocheted it out of emerald green silk thread that I had in my stash but never really knew what to do with. The drape is absolutely gorgeous by the way, and it just feels so luxurious on the skin ❀

I added the 3 buttons to help me distinguish the back from the front more than anything πŸ˜‚Β Those too I had sitting aimlessly in my stash.

So anyways, this assignment and how you guys have sorta egged me on to the finish line has definitely hatched an idea in my noggin’. But I’m going to share it with you towards the end of this week yet because it’s for next week and it’s a bit of a departure from the original format of this challenge.

Stay tuned for that!

Meanwhile my challenge for today is just to chill, do nothing, kick back on the sofa & contemplate the beautiful sunny Indonesian weather β˜€οΈ β˜€οΈ β˜€οΈ

It’s my husband’s birthday today and, although later there’s gonna be dinner & we’ve booked a weekend at a resort 2 weekends from now to celebrate,Β  I still feel it deserves a day of relaxation & to just sit still in a space of grateful appreciation 😊

So there you go, that’s my update for today. Tomorrow’s assignment is to close off another ‘unfinished business’, an online course this time.

I’ll see you guys then ❀

Create Happy, Sane At Home Mom

July 4: Music & (Crazy-)Dance

I remember before the birth of my baby I used to have the music blaring really loud around the house. The first house we were given at the time was huge, with many spacious rooms & large common areas. I’d be all alone on weekdays but it never bothered me because music from my favorite radio station would be playing & reverberating in all that space.

I’d be dancing like nobody was watching (because nobody was!) or I’d lipsync or do a spontaneous aerobic choreography. I’d laugh myself silly sometimes.

On most days that was how I’d combat extreme homesickness and severe ennui.

Fast forward to today (we’re in a different house now, sadly) and I actually forgot about my love for upbeat music up until a couple of months ago. I realized I could still play it loud around the house even with the baby, I just needed to use headphones! (How smart am I? Yup. Genius!πŸ˜‚)

Since then, at least for several days a week & whenever the baby’s asleep, I make sure I lose myself in a fantasy world filled with upbeat music (where I dance like Kimberly Wyatt) for a few minutes. My body is stiff and heavy from the lack of exercise but I do what I can πŸ˜‰ πŸ˜†

For today’s mini-assignment, after crazy-dancing myself breathless, I updated my playlist to include Trap music, music for walking & for working out. I love it!

❀

Next mini-assignment: plan a weekend to look forward to.

❀

 

Home & Heart

July 2: The Closet Cleanse + The Hulk + Today’s Mini-Challenge

I accumulate a lot of clothes that I never use. This was the first thing I realized as I did yesterday’s mini challenge. As I kept pulling out items the “No” pile kept rising higher and higher to finally reveal the meager few pieces that I did use. I thought this was going to be a very simple exercise in tidying up but as there was such a stark contrast between the two piles I had to pause and ask myself why this was. I mean, why have so much that I’m not using and be stuck with just a small handful that I actually wore. And thenΒ to always feel as though I never have any/the right clothes to wear?

The answer presented itself too quickly in my opinion, as though it was just waiting for the right moment to pounce on me, grab me by the ankles & pound me about like the Hulk did to Loki in an already pissed-off effort to make me realize that ~ it’s because I am always buying clothes for the body I want to have and not the body I have now.

Okay let’s do that again: buying clothes for a fantasy body-size instead of buying clothes in real-time.

Does this happen to you too? We think we’re being motivational/inspirational/supportive when we’re buying sizes that are too small, thinking that we’ll fit into them in X number of weeks because we’re eliminating all the carbs from our diet but the sad truth is …

.

.

tenor

 

😱 😱 😱

Okay, lights on now!

I am going to stop this madness rrright now and, with you all as witness (sorta), I am going to ~

  1. dress myself with honesty and respect from this point forward
  2. get serious about my fitness goals

Which brings me to today’s mini-challenge: articulate this month’s goals. More on this tomorrow.

 

Photo byΒ Artem Beliaikin @belart84Β onΒ Unsplash