The Introvert Expat SAHM Diaries

About the 1000 Tiny Steps that Lead to Your Destination

In this post I want to continue talking about setting goals and, more specifically, the 1000 or so teeny-tiny steps you take that move you closer to your pot of gold.

Do they matter?

So as mentioned in the previous post I’m reading a book about goal setting because I want to get better at accomplishing goals. What prompted me to explore this subject further is the couple or so goals I set for last year and this year that I didn’t accomplish.

But if you ask me why I didn’t accomplish them, it really isn’t for the lack of trying.

For instance, one of my goals was/is to get back to exercising the way I did pre-baby. I tried, and tried, and tried again. I got discouraged many times, stopped, tried again, and finally had to admit to myself that my post-baby body just needed to start someplace waaaaay less intense.Β And then there’s the matter of finding the time to exercise considering I’m taking care of a baby/soon to be 2-yr old.

So really, if I think back to all the times I tried and to finally now reach this point where I have been able to consistently exercise every day … that’s a feat!

But this falls way too short of the “real” goal.

And how about that goal where I wanted to earn money from my crafts. That’s also taking an entire lifetime to come to fruition! But I certainly do recall having explored options, working through a few disappointments, testing some stuff, etc … so that by now I still don’t have that online shop I envisioned, but I finally know what my product is going to be.

When I set these goals I truly didn’t think that they were too big. And I truly thought they were doable within the timeframe given :/

Anyhoot, after some thought I just felt that I wasn’t being kind to myself by dismissing all those tiny steps I took to move me closer to my goals. I felt that they deserved to be acknowledged and celebrated too.

So with that said, what I plan to do moving forward is to log all the tiny “victories” in a special notebook that keeps track of my goals. That way I can see how far I’ve come without getting disillusioned at the perceivedΒ “lack” of progress. I can see that I haven’t been idle, and I can see that not all of the steps were complete failures.

I believe that the tiny steps deserve their applause too.

That is all I wanted to share today sexy people! Thank you so much for reading πŸ™‚

Have a good one! ❀

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The Introvert Expat SAHM Diaries

Is It Too Early to Think of 2020 Goals?

Hello sexy people! ❀ πŸ™‚

It’s Friday morning over here in my sunny corner of the globe and I am reading a book about goal setting ~ why? Because I want to set and accomplish some goals in 2020. I want to look back on the year with the satisfaction that comes from having earned new “gold stars”. And I want to be deliberate about it.

Now just to backtrack, I’ve always been a goal setter. Even when I became a full time SAHM I continued to set goals, daily, weekly, monthly, you name it, I’d set a goal for it. ‘s Matter of fact, I had a big goal for 2019 … it didn’t make it past the front gate.

Most of my goals do not make it past the front gate 😦

I kinda dabble at it in the beginning and then I get distracted and blah, blah, blah, & fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la ….

I must hold myself to a higher standard, being a life coaching student & all that jazz!

So I have decided to devote the remaining months of 2019 to studying how to set goals. Because I’ve never really studied it.Β  I fish something interesting out of my head, buy a fancy whiteboard to write it on and hope that by placing it somewhere visible it will somehow get done.

Well, that strategy rarely, if ever, works for me. Obviously.

And it’s struck me that I am actually being flimsy with this powerful tool for life improvement.

So as I made this decision a few goals immediately started to materialize in my head (they’re like flies swarming about!). Now I’m trying to be choosy because I want these goals to actually mean something. The book I’m reading says that the stronger your emotions are around that goal, the better the outcome. So here they are so far –

A flat tummy by my birthday.

(Oh yes, I certainly have some strong emotions around this one!)

I want some tone in there, I don’t want it to bulge. I don’t need a 6-pack, I just want it flat.

Celebrate my birthday with my family at a nice resort in Bintan.

I have just very recently discovered that the next-door island to Batam (where I live), Bintan, is a paradise! I saw gorgeous pictures of luxury resorts and I’ve been itching ever since! There’s even a place that’s nominated to become a UNESCO world heritage site! Who needs Bali when it’s much farther & expensive?!!

So this is goal #2.

An online shop by July. Or within the 3rd Qtr. But the goal is July.

This was my 2019 goal but I did not even know what my product was going to be. Let alone the criteria for selecting said product – very important!

In fairness, I did experiment with a few options and learned quite a lot in the process ~ including the need to learn about goal-setting πŸ˜€

An outside hobby.

I do not want to stay cooped up at home anymore. I understand that most of my time will still be indoors with the adorable toddler but I want something that will bring me in contact with other adult human beings at least once a week. I can do once a week.

Notes on goal 2 & 4Β 

These sound more like to-do’s but these are sub-goals that I’ve broken down from a bigger, kinda nebulous goal which is to enjoy where I live.

An open slot for goal #5

I still lack 1 goal. I want to make it 5 because I am turning 45 next year and I just like to relate things and turn it into a fun game πŸ˜‰Β Β I’ll let you gorgeous people know as soon as I’ve finalized it πŸ™‚

 

~~ meanwhile, let me ask you πŸ™‚ ~~

Have you started to think about your own goals for next year already?

Do you enjoy setting goals?

What one new thing would you want to bring into your life next year?

πŸ‘‡πŸ‘‡πŸ‘‡πŸ‘‹

 

Home & Heart, Potpourri

July 3: Goals

It is said countless times that what separates successful people from all the rest is that successful people have goals written down.

Allez, let us therefor join the ranks of the successful and write down our goals for July, shall we? πŸ™‚

Mine are:

Blog 6 days a week – do mini-assignments everyday

I want to blog again so I’ve given myself a ‘challenge’ to do one small ordinary act with intention everyday, and to blog about it.

I am an expat SAHM who is less-than-happy with my environment. I have found it really difficult to take root in this foreign country despite having lived here for 4 straight years already. Because there is nothing outside the house that I find worth going out for, nothing interesting ever goes on in this city, plus I have a 1-year old, I very rarely go out of the house which, definitely does not contribute to my happiness.

I have since learned that I need to exert more effort than usual not to fall into depression. Blogging gave me an outlet forΒ  my thoughts. It was like I had friends to talk to, and every time a “stranger” (yes, I’m looking at YOU dear) would care to comment, I would feelΒ heard.

So I am coming back to “friends” because I need all the friends I can get, real & virtual πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

Be consistent with my exercise routine

After giving birth in October of 2017, I was only able to get some momentum going on any type of exercise last May (2019). Pre-childbirth I used to LOVE exercise and HIIT-type routines were my jam, jelly and butter combined with dance fitness & strength training.

That is why it came as a total shock and huge downer for me to observe that my body, 1 year post-natal, stillΒ loathedΒ exercise! I just couldn’t bring myself to do anything, not even a beginner 10-minute mat-Pilates routine. Heck, I couldn’t even do aΒ walk-in-place!

I tried several times and each time I would fail. Last May, after reading so many self-help books & listening to motivational podcasts, I finally got myself to walk around the block 2 evenings a week. Fortunately, the experience was enjoyable so since then I have been able to do it 3 times a week and at a much faster pace. (Yaaaaaay!!!)

Inspired by this success, by the end of last month I also started adding in some strength training routines into the mix, but only for 3 times a week.Β  I am taking itΒ veeery slowΒ because whenever I do a strength training routine, no matter how short & light, my body feels like it’s been hit by a ton of bricks for 5-6 days after! SoΒ I only do body-weight, mostly Pilates, and for max 30 minutes at a time only.

Painstakingly slow based on my previous standards, but you gotta work with your body and respect its own drum beat.

That said, I am hopeful that this schedule & intensity will work this time, and my goal therefor is to be consistent with it.

❀

Which brings me to today’s mini-assignment: listen to music & crazy-dance πŸ™‚

❀

 

handmade business, The Introvert Expat SAHM Diaries

My Brain’s Abuzz With 2019

Blame it on the ambivalent & un-inspiring goals I set for myself in 2018 (though I can’t be too hard on myself, I had recently given birth you know 😊), but my brain’s been abuzz with goals for 2019.

My episode of painful gastritis really did help me clarify things, one of them was realizing that I can’t really do “loose weight” as a goal again. I mean, yes, I could do with some weight loss, but I want this to be a side-effect of something bigger (and healthier!). Like fasting, because weight-loss is just one of the many effects of it and it isn’t even the best or most noteworthy.

Anyhow, I realized that I am galvanized into action by level-up goals that are fun and exciting but are also a bit scary and outside my comfort zone. I mean, I guess all of us are like this, no? In my case the more thought I gave to it the more it started to look like this:

goal: make life in Batam fun & engaging <- learn Indonesian <- make local friends (I only have fellow expat wives as friends so far) <- use my craft as a springboard <- sell my creations for fun <- learn all about social & online selling

Now this is really starting to look like a decent party 🀩

Already, because these goals are that exciting to me, I’ve taken some relevant action. I got friendly with my next-door neighbor. Now at least I’m friendly with someone local and hopefully she knows of a church that has English service (next action item).

I also made good on something I’ve wanted for some time, a dedicated craft site (fifiandriri.com). I also opened an IG account to serve as a portfolio of my creations. I’m finishing up all my crochet/knitting WIP’s at the moment so that I can start clean asap, with an eye on social selling this time.

I’m reading up about the handmade business, and my brain is lit with ideas and more to-do’s like learning product photography and opening up an FB for biz account.

So exciting! πŸ€ͺ

bulletin-board

How is all this going to help me with learning Indonesian? Simple, language is best learned though interaction & immersion. I’ve tried cooping myself up indoors facing my computer, the results are minimal and I’m not having any fun at all while at it. So I need to be out there and talk!

And how is this gonna force me into loosing weight? Well, lemme tell ya: I love to crochet lacy pieces of clothing. Clothing need to be modeled by a real person. You do the rest of the math 😁 😁

The Introvert Expat SAHM Diaries

Goals, Gastritis & That Blog I Was Telling You About

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source

Hello my beautiful, awesome friends! It’s been a while. How ya’ll doin’? πŸ˜€

I’m here to share with you that I’ve done and am doing something I find truly exciting.

But before that, a backstory in the briefest way I can do it:

The last time we “talked” I was going on about these goals I had, right? And that I was working on them, but it was all feeling like an uphill climb. I knew something was amiss since I was really struggling with them.

So I had to stop and take stock. I dove into motivational material, listened to Jim Rohn, Jack Canfield, Lisa Nichols and a bunch of life coaches on Podcasts and I realized the problem was that my goals just weren’t exciting.Β  There was no thunder and lightning at all. And they didn’t pull me out of my comfort zone in ways that energized me.

At about the same time I realized this I experienced gastritis along with the worst period pains E-VERR. It was absolute torture! But all the doctor said was …and you’re not gonna believe this, he said “just be happy”. Literally. I’m serious.

Now I totally believe in the mind-body connection, so I didn’t need to be told twice. I immediately improved the quality of the food I was eating, shifted to the kind of exercise my body truly enjoyed, tackled a couple of small but annoying things in my life, continued to feed my brain with motivational material, and allowed myself to just forget “those effing goals” for a while.

Just a few days into this routine I noticed that I could see better.Β  I’m like “why is the TV so much clearer all of a sudden?!”.Β  I also felt physically lighter. I can’t quite explain it but I was moving with more ease and fluidity and as though I had lost a ton of weight.Β  I was also in a more positive mindset.Β  My brain chatter was just … better…?Β  It’s like I gained some maturity, resilience, confidence & purposefulness all in one. So yes, improving your diet, exercising better and filling your brain with positive stuff makes all the difference in the world.

But the biggest take-away for me is really this: I created new goals and I made them genuinely relevant and scary-exciting.Β  I will be sharing more about them with you in upcoming posts but for now I would L❀️VE for you to head on over to fifiandriri.com and tell me what you think πŸ™‚

Thanks and, I’ll talk to you soon πŸ’‹

Monthly Reviews & Blog Updates, Staying Sane

The Awesome Month of April & The Marvelous Month of May

April. Gurrrl how fast you go! But you gave me some awesome victories that I am definitely grateful for:

πŸ‘‰πŸΌΒ  I sorted out my feelings about blogging and this blog. As a result, not only does this blog now enjoy a fresh “coat of paint”, but more importantly, I’m staying true to sharing about me and my life as it unfolds.

πŸ‘‰πŸΌΒ  I started on a path to beauty because I hit rock bottom on this matter. There was a time when I was younger when I didn’t care about my appearance, and I could get away with it. But now I need to swallow my pride and get help because, as a stay-at-home-mom and as I grow older, I’d rather be an inspiration than a warning 🀭

πŸ‘‰πŸΌΒ  I discovered a new & interesting author, understand Indonesia better, and no longer feel guilty for a few not-so-nice observations I’ve had about this country and its people (in general) because the author has actually observed the same! As they are fond of saying here “begitulah” (that’s just the way it is)!

Indonesia Etc

πŸ‘‰πŸΌ I had my first FO of the year 🀩

πŸ‘‰πŸΌ This month my husband went on his second overseas trip and I’m no longer panicky about it πŸ˜€ As a matter of fact, I kinda enjoy the change of atmosphere πŸ˜€ It’s not that I no longer worry about what to do & who to contact in the event something unforeseen happens. But I think it’s because I’ve been learning a bit more Indonesian lately and I’m exposed to more people as a result of my new hobby.

πŸ‘‰πŸΌ And lastly, I think it could be the start of the rainy season. Yay! It’s been raining the past few days and right about time too because the heat was sweltering. (When is it ever not sweltering hot over here, eh? 😜).

rainy day

And Now for Making May Marvelous

A lot of people have a monthly bucket list and I enjoy reading them. I do agree that it’s a wise & deliberate way to ensure time is well spent. I’m also an enthusiastic goal setter myself (ok, way too enthusiastic most times) although the implementation part is often a bit problematic 🀭

But anyways, in that spirit, here’s what’s on my May bucket list:

πŸ‘‰ πŸ‘‰ Stay away from anything crochet (or knitting) 😁

I just thought it’d be cool to give something I’m obsessed with a break and see what rushes in to fill the void. I’m considering the following in its place:

πŸ’„Β  read a book, maybe 2

πŸ’„Β  learn a new recipe, maybe 2

πŸ’„Β  craft something out of paper, maybe 2

πŸ’„Β  have coffee with a friend, maybe 2

πŸ’„Β  celebrate Mother’s Day in a positive way

πŸ’„Β  buy a doll

 

Now on to YOU:

What are some of your April highlights? Looking forward to something special in May? Do share! 😊

Better Pictures 2018

It’s Time To Get Started On 2018

Hi everyone! I’m still here, in case anyone’s noticed 🀭

I’m still living life in 2-hour sleep-deprived increments and experiencing post partum hair loss as we speak (eeeek!).Β  But I’m doing quite well under the circumstances.

So what’s new?

Among my goals for this year is to take better pictures and to (finally, finally) use my DSLR as I go along.Β  I’ve always wanted to improve my photography skills and I bought the thing to seal the deal – you know, very much like buying a treadmill or a lifetime gym membership to affirm the veracity of your intentions πŸ™„

However, after leafing through its manual like it was some distasteful magazine, the DSLR turned into a pricey paperweight, gathering dust as the limelight went back to my ever handy, lightweight & uncomplicated iPhone. (Which reminds me of my treadmill which also became a pricey clothes rack & laundry hamper station, but I digress… πŸ™„πŸ™„).

2018 will be a year of ‘more doing and less hair twirling’ for me though so the DSLR has been exhumed and together we will be bonding over some photography courses this year. To help get me started, I’ve decided to do WP’s Photography Developing Your Eye 1 course rrrright now.

The 1st assignment is to get oriented with your camera (gulp!) and to take a photo representation ofΒ  what the word “home” brings to mind for you. Right away I think ~ hmmm, how fitting for someone who is all but home!

However, it didn’t take long for me to decide on a subject: our living room.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Okay, I do know that you’re supposed to take pictures with the light behind you, but that view just wasn’t as nice as these ones so …

I chose our living room because it’s one of my pet projects in my quest to making Batam work. I love this space because it is sunny and airy, and I want to build on this by turning it into something cozy and fun.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

I still have a long way to go [because I get distracted] and have only managed to add everything else that’s not the black couch, the 2 black sofas and the square table. (Unfortunately, they come with the house so there’s nothing I can do about them). On a good day I’d put a few of my potted plants here and there but I was too lazy to get them for this shoot so you’ll just have to do with fluffy-huggable Anais and Mr. Piddles instead 🀭

So anyhoot, this space represents the concept of home for me. Familiar, pleasant, comfortable, fun.

(1 down, 9 more to go πŸ‘Š) πŸ€ͺ